in a distance

Time flies. It's almost a month since the last time i posted something. So many things have been going around me. Good things. Bad things. School is really suffocating these days. I'm sick of doing tests and retests and projects and those endless assignments. Anyway, i just finished my mid term tests. Some of the scores were up and they're pretty good. I'm crossing fingers for the result. 

Hmm. What else? Ah. I'm very grateful for my school life in XIIA1. They are very entertaining and supporting at once. Every time i feel so stressed out, they're there to share a laugh together. And when i'm stuck in a lesson, they're there to encourage me and help me out. We had fun at Thursday and took some pictures with our homeroom teacher and our varsity jacket of course! I LOVE EM ALL. (anyway i am the one with number 04)

Hmm... What else... Ah. There is a little typhoon happening in my friendship with BLUR. They're my best friends since got into science class. BLUR is me, Desy, Viwu, Elaine, Carissa, and Karina. Karina joined us lately because she went into the same class with them in XIIA5 while i'm here with XIIA1. There's a misunderstanding going around like a virus. Hopping from one person to another. This is not a big matter, in fact it's a very tiny one in my perspective, but one of us sees it as a very big problem and now stepping away from us. I don't want to watch this. I don't want us to be faded like an old photo from the past. Eaten by time. One of us seems out of control of her emotions. The others are trying to reach for her, but it seems like she doesn't want to be reached. I don't understand. I don't get it. We are best friends. We should stick together, shouldn't we? But why are you running away, my friend? I don't want letting you slipping away like this. As easy as this. You're the closest to me. But why? Please reconsider our days we've been through together. We love you sincerely. We really do.

Now that you have taken a step away from us. You can take your time. Think about it. We will be here waiting. Standing in a distance. Never far behind.

hey it's been a while. school had started, so i was busy with tests and retests and assignments and projects and stuffs i didn't have time to write. and now i have time. i just got home from my friend's birthday party. the lights and loud music were crazy. but i felt good and had fun. a little fun at least in this busy week. 

i've spent my days, hours, minutes, and seconds on tests. and i am tired. i don't have any time left for anything else. almost. especially with Kevin. this week was crazy. i rarely chat with him. even at school we rarely meet. and now we won't have time for dating again, because i just took a course for university test. and it is scheduled for every Saturday. crazy huh? that way we won't have much time for each other. actually i'm not complaining. i'm fine with it really. it's just....i'm afraid. afraid that we will get further. and the feelings fade away. 

but now i think it's not like it. Kevin went to that party with me. he sat with me the whole time. even though i knew that he was very sleepy because he had slept for 2 hours only the other night. but he still responded the things that i said. he put his arms around me and i still felt those butterflies in me. it was like the first time again. he held my hand and caressed it. and i felt at peace. like there's forever in front of me to stay like that. i was wrong. feelings may fade away. but love don't. love won't fade away. it stays no matter what happen. the same as before.   now i know that i loved him yesterday the same as i love him today and i will love him tomorrow, and the next day after tomorrow, and the next days after that. i'm not afraid. i will fight for this love to stay true.