Well as you can see from the picture above, I'm an unstable person. And my characters are mostly bad based on that picture. Well, i am changeable yet aggressive but touchy? Eww. And yes I am moody, anxious, and well...kind of sober. Left unsatisfied, i searched again for another picture. Thank God this one is not really bad.
Well the picture explains almost everything about me. I'm an earth person and definitely not a water person since i'm kind of afraid of water. And well i can say i'm intellectual and angry/depressed. So i can conclude that the results are correct.
Do you wonder why i looked to all these stuffs? Well because i just realized how a helpless-idiotic-pathetic choleric melancholic i am. I change much because of my almost balanced temperaments of choleric melancholic. And i'm the one you find would pick up a fight on someone and swear to random people just because i'm pissed off. And because i'm a melancholic person, i think a lot. I can think, well almost everything, and have a very deep thoughts about them, sometimes exaggerating them. And this just happened.
I did say that i miss my boyfriend, Kevin? I haven't seen him and talked to him much since like last week. And we don't talk much lately. I miss him so much. But well, he's like the most ignorant person i've ever met. So he rarely starts a conversation and he ignores me a lot. Even if we talk, we talk about unimportant stuffs and he rarely shows his affections towards me. Even one time, when we're at the same place, he said that we should pretend that we don't know each other. That really hurts. And that made me thinking about him and our relationship which is new, so deep. And well that kind of sucks. I become this insecure person. I become a coward who exaggerates things too much. Yeah a coward. But sometimes you do exaggerate your fear beyond their original state. Yes. I fear losing him. I do love him. After all of this time i played around, i finally meet someone who can make my heart loses its beats. And when i love someone deeply, i become this person who always feel afraid. I become helpless and idiotic. Such an idiot, i even questioned him. Have this idiotic doubts about him. Now he said he will give me some time for myself to think, i regret what i said. I should've endured it all. After all it's him, the one that i love. I should be okay with it.
Well now all i can do is cursing at myself for being a helpless-idiotic-pathetic choleric melancholic. I think i should just get over this horrible feeling and think positive about everything. I should text Kevin in the morning and show him that i'm okay now. But i want him to know that actually i'm not fine with him ignoring me and not showing his affections towards me. Well sometimes love makes you a coward. It will reveal everything about you. Your faults and complexes and everything. So be careful there!
No comments:
Post a Comment