some people fear heights, ghosts, spiders, pain, even death. not me. i fear life. sometimes i wish i had an easy answer for why i'm depressed. because every time i try to act happy and forget the reason of my depression , i just feel like i'm full of shit. like i'm trying to be something i'm not. so i'll let it be. because happiness is something that has to be looked after, something you have to be vigilant about. just find yourself something to believe in, to care about. probably your days won't be brighten after that, but at least you have yourself a company that's not an illusion.
as a man, i know what women want. what they like. men see them complicated, but actually what they expect is really simple. women like to be desired. just throw her up against the wall and kiss her. chances are she will kiss you back. and if she doesn't, well at least you tried. you've just got to do something else, or else you'll lose her. that's pretty easy, isn't it?
i used to be different. i’m serious. i was happy, i was open, i was curious. but i’ll tell you this, i knew when it was ending. i was overwhelmed with sadness when i realized i was going to change. that it all, most likely, was going to get worse. like a nostalgia for the present, i couldn’t shake it. but anything is possible. so i changed. and no matter what shits people talk about me behind my back, i won't give a single fuck. i like myself now. nothing matters to me except me.
okay. that was not me. i mean i wrote that but... well that is a character that i made a few minutes ago. i was thinking of making a story. and i need a careless male main character. so i discovered him. haven't found a name that matches his personality, but i will find it. soon.
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