:)

I've been extremely busy recently, i can barely breathing. I took an IELTS class lately. There are so many tests and projects. There's also an enrichment program for 12th grader, preparation for the National Exam, and it's held every Saturday, which makes my weekend even more miserable than before. Because i also need to take a 6 hours preparation class in order to enter the best National University. I'm exhausted. I'm totally worn out. But i'm not sad. I'm...happy. Well because life's good. And it's been fun with my friends, with Kevin also.

Tomorrow is my 6th month anniversary. Yesterday we skyped. He asks about what do i feel about it. What do i expect. And then i played my memories of these months that we spent together. Fights? We rarely fight. Kevin is very patient. Even though, i'm so emotional and grumpy at some points, but he can handle me so easy. Better than my parents even. It's just whenever i'm around him, i feel peace. Even if i feel anger, hatred, anything bad, if he's near, i will feel better gradually. Me, myself, i can't really get mad at him. No matter how disappointed or upset i am, i can never be angry at him. So all of the things that made me upset will just...vanished. gone with the wind. 

For these reasons, you just found out my other weakness besides thunders and strawberries, Kevin. I don't understand actually why i become like this. I love him. And he makes me weak. And strong at the same time. If i have to choose between him gone and eat 3 strawberries per day or hearing thunders all day, i will choose eating strawberries or hearing thunders all day. I don't want to lose him.  And he makes me weak. And strong at the same time. When he's around, i feel more energy, more spirits. I feel alive and stronger. But when he's gone far away, i feel empty. In this situation he becomes my weakness. 

Kevin being my addiction has influenced me somehow, not only for now, but also for the future. Did i tell you at the beginning that i actually planned to take Industrial Engineering for college? I used to have this in my mind. About what i wanted to be. What i would be. What i would study at college. But as time goes by, and the relationship between me and Kevin grows stronger, my plans started to fade. I started to think about another possibilities. a change. Kevin is accepted in both Australia and London, both in Architecture. We will be separated for such a long period of time. And well, i don't want us to part. Even i know that actually we will in the future. So, i think if i take Civil Engineering for college, the chances of meeting him again in the future will be bigger.  That is why if people ask me now about what i will take for college, i will answer Civil Engineering. no doubts. 

So... I guess this is what i expect in the future. I will be a successful contractor, he will be a successful  architect. We will meet again. And i will still remember him as my best memory of high school. No matter what the situation will be. Either we still have feelings for each other or we already have someone else later. If it's meant to be, it will be. We will be. But for now, so far, as long as we're together. I'm happy :)