blue dunhill

it's been 54 hours since he last contacted me. he's in...i don't even know where he exactly is. maybe in Flores still catching komodo dragons. or maybe he's in Bali, walking down the beach under the moonlight. wherever he is, he must be happy. i hope he is happy. i don't know what exactly happened. i can't contact him. he's out of reach. maybe his phone died and he didn't bring his charger. maybe the connection is rubbish there. maybe he lost his phone. whatever happened there, i just hope that he's okay. and nothing bad has happened to him. and that i miss him. like ultra.

i've been away for a couple of days. a lot of things has happened since i last posted here. and most of them are troubles. one of them is a total misery that gives me a grudge that i will hold all along inside me. i can't explain it here. i'm afraid. i don't think that i can explain it to anybody. it's a serious issue. and it made me doing things i don't do. you know what, i smoke yesterday. like really smoking. it was a blue dunhill. no one knows. only me. and you know what, it sucked. i'm not going to smoke again. like never ever going to smoke again for God's sake. now my throat hurts and if i talk, i'll sound like a soaked pipe. i have no idea why people do that over and over and why people like cigarettes. i don't see their reasons. it hurts your tongue, your lungs, your brain, your throats, and your nose. seriously for people out there who wants and are eager to try to smoke. DON'T. sincerely, a person who tried to smoke and her breathing organs ended up hurting.

i seriously need something to make me forget about this thing, because smoking sounds cool and i thought that it could help me, but..oh gosh i should stop talking about that. maybe gums? but i use teeth brackets it will be pretty difficult to chew it without messing my brackets. study probably? hmm i should try. that sounds good for me too.